There are many married couples who, for reasons manifest to others, would seem to be better off if they got a divorce. Outwardly, they look as though they have absolutely nothing in common. Perhaps they pick at each other incessantly. Or maybe they alternate vacations, always separate, never together - but ultimately bonded in marriage under the same roof.

Why do some people continue to stay married when it seems so logical from an outside perspective that they would be more creative, more independent - basically, happier - divorced?

That is a question for the "un-divorce" experts, who, while commonly citing the many and diverse reasons why apparently mismatched people stay married, are divided on whether that is healthy in most cases.

Money. We all know that it is a factor in many things, and it is certainly a reason for keeping many couples together who might otherwise split in a heartbeat. There are marriages where a trust actually evaporates upon divorce. There are marriages that maintain only because of a couple's desire to continue filing joint tax returns, to share one health insurance policy or to secure Social Security benefits. There are marriages where a spouse is hesitant to divorce for religious reasons. There are marriages that continue only because of a couple's fear that they will be regarded differently if they divorce.

So, is what marriage experts call the "un-divorce trend" healthy? Responses range widely. "If it's a decent relationship, but the flame is gone, it might be OK," says Irina Firstein, a psychotherapist. Pamela Garber, also a psychotherapist, thinks that staying married in many instances means foregoing personal growth through avoidance of necessary risk taking and new social encounters. "You can blame everything on the marriage," she says. "It's a way to put a hold on growing up."

Some couples are also constrained by the perceived costs inherent in divorce. The office of an attorney who specializes in low-cost, no-fault divorce can be a logical venue to discuss their questions and concerns.

Related Resource: www.politicsdaily.com "The Un-Divorce: When Leaving Your Marriage Is Just Too Much Work" August 2, 2010